And now . . . the embarrassing staged photos

So this is a scene from the typical day at the Smith house. Children asleep and parents trying to figure out what to do with them. Do you fill their heads with books, music, songs? Do you let them sleep? What exactly do you do with these little tikes when all they seem to do is eat, the opposite of eat, and sleep.

All in all, it's a weird version of slow time you might commonly hear associated with prison time, in which people occupy themselves with any and all available activities just to more readily pass the time. Instead of carving chess pieces from soapstone and dreaming of Zihuatanejo, or learning life lessons and plotting revenge with an Italian priest in Chateau d'If - we have opted for the higher calling of simply watching our children and playing dress up with our two captive minions. One day they will hate us for these pictures. But for now, it's a good way to make do - three hours at a time.

In this scene, LeeAnn has decided to try on little matching outfits and has documented the event with some nice photos that are reminiscent of paparazzi pics of Lindsay Lohan on any given Tuesday night. Only our little ones won't have to be hospitalized for "exhaustion" or "adverse reactions from an anti-histamine they were taking". They're just in your average, run-of-the-mill food coma.

Other times we sit them under a colorful gym and expect them to do something. We're not sure what - perhaps blurt out "polka dots" or grab for the weird red bird or maybe just roll around a little. But mostly they don't do any of this. They just sort of sit there and drift in and out of little blissful sleep. Occasionally they'll pipe up to let you know they need to be changed. But most of the time they don't do this either - it's just a little too much effort. Plus they know we'll figure it out sooner or later.

But we do love them and truly there's nothing more fun than waking them up when it's time to eat and watching them stretch and open their eyes. It's a great highlight I get to look forward to and re-watch every three hours at snack time. We're hopelessly in love with them.

In other news . . .

  • You may have won Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 6 years in a row, Takero "The Tsunami" Kobayashi - but someone else is having the Best Week Ever." Perritt "The Punisher" Smith, born at 5lb 10oz, he has vaulted up a weight class to 6lb 11oz - nearly a 20% increase in his weight. Bring on the hot dogs.
  • Mary Poole (born at 6 lb 11 oz) has gained a much more ladylike and respectable 6 ounces to take her to a girlish and healthy 7lb 1oz. We're proud of her very sincere efforts.
  • When you have a newborn and you know that any fever means visiting the hospital to get a spinal tap and other unsavory procedures, there are few places scarier than the waiting room of the pediatrician's office. Thoughts of ebola, bird flu, SARS and malaria wafting about in the recirculated air fill your mind. Oh the horror of such things percolating in our little childrens' lungs. Has anyone invented the Lysol gas mask? If not, why? Anyway, we ran in and out of the office like were were avoiding the Andromeda Strain and are already planning our strategy for the next visit.
  • Rhett seems to care little for the babies. He will occasionally want to sniff their heads but really just sort of likes having us around. So no issues there. And no more crib incidents.
Hope all's well with everyone out there.